


The Closet

by ShoutIntoTheVoid



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Bullying, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 13:57:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6959629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShoutIntoTheVoid/pseuds/ShoutIntoTheVoid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bitty has a panic attack triggered by an event from his past</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Closet

“You’re the one I love!” Bitty sang under his breath as he walked to the supply room, “You’re the one I need!”   
They had just finished practice for the day, and everyone was hitting the showers. Bitty had gone to get some fresh towels for himself.  
“You put my love on top!” He sang as he reached the supply room, the door was propped open, and Bitty danced through the threshold. He spotted the towels, stacked on the top shelf next to the door.   
“Har har Holster, we get it you’re tall.” Bitty grumbled as he jumped to try and reach his coveted towel. “Come on.” He said frustrated as he jumped. “Almost there!” He jumped again, this time his finger tips brushed the edge of the towel. “Come on!” He jumped once more, and as he grabbed the towel, his foot got caught in the door stop. Bitty fell down onto his back, the damn towel falling onto his chest.   
When he looked up, the door was closed. He only had a moment to register it before the lights flickered off.  
“Well shit.” He exclaimed, rolling off of the ground and feeling around in the general direction of the door, reaching for the knob. He found the cool piece of metal and gave it a rough yank, but it didn’t budge.  
“Locked.” He huffed, “Of course.”   
Bitty knocked on the door, “Hello, guys? I guess this room locks automatically, can you let me out?”   
No reply came.  
“Hello?” He yelled, knocking again. “Ransom? Holster?” he called, but nothing.   
Bitty’s throat tightened and he started knocking on the door in earnest, pounding his fist onto the wood until it hurt.   
“Guys! Hello?” He yelled, panic rising in his chest. ‘Stay calm Bittle.” He tried to reassure himself, ‘They’ll come for you any second now.’  
But seconds passed and he was still trapped. He banged on the door with more ferver, using his strength to hit the door as hard as he could. The walls of the room, even in darkness, were closing in on him, he felt hopeless.   
“Nursey! Dex!” He screemed, tears starting to prick at his eyes. “Please, Anyone, Please!”   
The air in the room felt stiff, Bitty felt like he couldn’t breathe and the walls were getting smaller and smaller. He dropped to his knees, weakly still trying to knock on the door. He couldn’t stop the tears from falling down his face. Bitty knew what was happening too late.   
He’d had panic attacks before, not often but it had happened. Unfortunately for Bits, he was horrible at dealing with them, he could never figure out how to stop them once they started.   
Knowing he was having a panic attack, and knowing what was about to happen made it worse. His breath was short and ragged. He tried to bang his fists on the door again, but his knuckles felt raw.   
Bitty couldn’t breath, he couldn’t see. He burrowed his face into his knees and wrapped his arms around his legs. He just wanted to curl into himself.   
Bitty sat and shook in the dark, trying to keep his thoughts at bay. But some things were easier said than done.   
If it weren’t for the sudden bright lights and the soft “Bitty,” the blonde would have fallen deeper into the hole of panic than he ever had.   
A cautious hand found its way to Bitty’s shoulder, and at the contact he looked up.   
Holster was kneeling in front of him, looking sad and concerned. He reached out to the smaller boy and pulled him to his chest, holding him in a safe embrace as he calmed down. Bitty sobbed into Holster’s chest, shaking in his arms, “Oh Bits.” Holster whispered.  
“Hey did you find B-“ Ransom stopped his inquiry as his eyes laid on his shaking friend in Holster’s hold.   
“Dude, what’s going on?” Nursey asks as he walks over to where Ransom is standing, “did you find Bitty or- Shit.”  
“What should we do?” Dex asks softly.  
“Bitty!” Chowder gasped sadly.   
“Guys,” Holster says gently, “Go back to the haus. I’ve got this.”   
Ransom ushered the shell shocked frogs away and left Holster and Bitty alone.   
When Bitty was calmed down enough, Holster took him back to the haus. What a bad day for Lardo to be out, she would know what to do.  
Bitty was a little embarrassed when he finally had his wits about him. His knuckles were a little bloodied and he excused himself so that he could clean them up.   
When the smaller blonde was gone, Ransom piped up, “Dude, what the hell was that?” He asked.   
Holster shrugged, “I don’t know man. He’s alright now but he I’ve never seen Bitty like that before. He was completely wrecked.”  
Nursey and Dex were sitting on the couch, looking solemn, but Chowder, he looked completely distraught. He was unusually quiet and was staring at the wall.   
When Bitty was done mending his hands, he took a deep breath and headed down the stairs. He walked over to the living room, where all of his friends were gathered, and stood in the doorway.  
“Hey y’all.” He said, and everyone whipped their heads to face him. Bitty strode across to take a seat on the couch.   
“Listen guys, today-“  
“Bits don’t sweat it, you don’t have to tell us anything.” Ransom assured.  
“No, but I want to.” He sighed, “I need to.”  
The boys gathered around Bitty and devoted their attention to him, “So, I know I’ve told you in not so many words that before my move to Madison, highschool was a couple of fires short of hell. But, I’ve never told you-“ Bitty sighed, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, “The other boys used to pick on my because I was small and most definitely queer, but a few times it was more than just being picked on. I was thrown into lockers and garbage cans, and I was beaten to a pulp more than a couple of times.” Bitty says it kind of casually, in a way that makes Dex’s fist clench and Chowder’s heart ache.   
“But one time,” Bitty sucked in a breath, “One time the school was having a lock in, like a big sleepover in the gym. My mama thought it would be good for me,” Bitty laughed bitterly, “I went and the boys who usually started trouble, they uh, waited until I was in the hall alone and they grabbed me and they beat me up, just as usual.” Bitty wrung his hands together and looked down at his lap. His friends quietly listened, “This time though, I tried to fight back, I tried to defend myself, but that just made me angry. The biggest one, his name was Calvin, he had the others hold me down and he just kept wailing on me. He broke my nose and my wrist was sprained. Somewhere on my head was bleeding too. And, when they were done with me,” Bitty sniffed, “They tossed me in the janitors closet, told me that I must feel right at home, living in a closet, and then they locked the door.”   
“Nobody knew I was there because I hadn’t even made it to the gym. The lights had shut off fifteen minutes in, they were probably on a timer. I, um, was found by the janitor the next day. My mama had come to pick me up and when nobody knew that I had even shown up, let alone where I was-“ Bitty chuckled wetly, “The whole school staff was out looking for me, but it was the janitor who ended up finding me. I looked a mess, blood caked in my hair and dried on my shirt and my wrist looked swollen and purple.”  
Bitty sighed, “We moved a little bit after that. I spent the night at the hospital. I guess today, the closet-“ Bitty’s words caught a little in his throat, “it was too familiar.”   
The skater looked down at his lap, not daring to make eye contact with anyone. He was about to apologize for upsetting anyone when he felt arms wrap around his shoulders.  
Bitty looked up in shock to find Chowder embracing him with a ferocity he had typically saved for the ice.   
“Oh Bitty,” The goalie said thick with sadness and bated tears, “I’m so sorry. You are the best person, I’m so sorry that happened to you.”   
Bitty smiled and returned the hug, holding onto his friend tightly.  
They were soon joined by Holster and an equally emotional Ransom.   
“Bro.” Was all the captains could say.  
“We’ve got your back Bits,” Nursey said, “Thanks for trusting us with this moment.” He and Dex joined the hug, but the red head stayed silent. He was plagued with thoughts of his time at high school, where casual homophobia was the norm. He thought about the guys who used to pick on “fags” and how he never did anything to stop it.   
Dex thought now more than ever that if someone had said something, Bitty would have never been hurt. He felt like a coward.   
A few days later, Dex found himself in the locker room after hours with his tool box. He couldn’t do anything about his past now, but he could make sure Bitty never has to deal with triggers, at least not while Dex is around.   
He fixes the door, it no longer locks from the outside.  
“I got your back Bits.” He says to himself.


End file.
